Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings *1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper* *
with fire at one end & a fool at the other.*

*2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where* *
one-day internationals are more popular than a* *
five day test.*

*3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man* *
loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains* *
her master*

*4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage*

*5. Lecture : An art of transferring information* *
from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the* *
students without passing through "the minds of* *
either".*

*6. Conference : The confusion of one man* *
multiplied by the number present.*

*7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in* *
such a way that everybody believes he got the* *
biggest piece.*

*8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine* *
will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..*

*9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes* *
before marriage.*

*10. Conference Room : A place where everybody* *
talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later* *
on.*

*11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are* *
going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.*

*12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do* *
not read.*

*13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things* *
straight.*

*14. Office : A place where you can relax after your* *
strenuous home life.*

*15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever* *
get to open their mouth.*

*16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you* *
know more than you actually do.*

*17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing* *
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be* *
done together.*

*18. Experience : The name men give to their* *
mistakes.*

*19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all* *
inventions.*

*20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself* *
during life, to be spoken of when dead.*

*21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell* *
in such a way that you actually look forward to* *
the trip.*

*22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath* *
if he accidentally falls into a river.*

*23. Optimist : A person who while falling from* *
Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured* *
yet."*

*24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the* *
last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in* *
word OPPORTUNITY.*

*25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he* *
can die rich.*

*26. Father : A banker provided by nature.*

*27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...* *
except that he got caught.*

*28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are* *
late and late when you are early.*

*29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before* *
elections and your Confidence after.*

*30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,* *
and kills you with his bills.*

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for
reading such mails......* *  ¶ 9:43 PM